When I was struggling to quit smoking and finally did quit I thought that quitting smoking was all I was going to do. I didn’t realize how much quitting smoking would affect the rest of my life. I’m going to talk a little about my own experience here. My experience may not be true for you, but hopefully it will be helpful.
When I quit, the first thing that came up for me was … feelings. I started to be snappy and angry, short tempered, angry, weepy, angry, and did I mention angry? It took me a few years to fully realize that what I had been doing while smoking was blocking my feelings. Smoking is great for blocking your feelings. Are you feeling anxious? Have a cigarette. Are you feeling angry? Have a cigarette. Are you depressed? Have a cigarette! Really, that’s what I did when I was smoking. I was smoking away my feelings.
So I began to learn how to deal with all those feelings that came up. In the beginning I didn’t do a very good job. I used sugar and food to put them away. I wasn’t totally successful, but it helped. I eventually did look at those feelings and discovered that feelings are okay! Emotions are the natural state of a human being. Anger isn’t bad, it just is. Depression isn’t bad, it’s just a human condition. Anxiety isn’t bad. It’s just the human condition. Really.
In my case, I had been suffering from low-level depression for my whole life. When I quit smoking, my depression really got bad and I finally listened to my healer buddies and went to a psychiatrist and got a prescription for an anti-depressant. This worked for me because of my own chemical make-up. Everyone is different. But I believe I was smoking to manage my depression, because it kept me from sinking down into the depths I experienced when I quit.
My relationshps changed when I quit smoking. I found new friends and solidified some of my existing relationships. I still have friends who smoke, although in the beginning I had to stay away from them because I knew it would be too tempting. Now it’s not so hard, but they understand and I understand so we are able to survive our differences in that realm.
I became more honest. I wasn’t a huge liar when I was smoking, but would slip and slide through a few things. Now I can’t lie and I don’t want to lie. How did that happen? Somehow I think I respect myself more and I don’t want to live in a world where I’m living a lie and presenting myself falsely to the rest of the world.
I started to want to live again. Perhaps this relates to my depression, but I also believe that quitting smoking and adding some years back to my life had an effect on my willingness to live a good life. And to live a good long life. I am not spending my time hiding away and smoking, I am running two businesses, I’m in a relationship, I have friends, and I have lots ot do. And there’s a lot more to learn and to do in my future.
So you see, quitting smoking can have a profound effect on your life!
